Southern California

I'm not quite sure where to start, as I'm very fatigued and in pain, lacking the stamina to write out as thorough a post as I'd like.

I headed down to southern california yesterday. I'll be staying with my parents and have appointments set up to see several doctors, including a rheumatologist.

Over the past few weeks, it became increasingly evident to both me and Spencer that we weren't going to get the care I need in our rural medical community. My symptoms have also gotten increasingly severe and distressing over the past couple of weeks, forcefully prompting us to be more aggressive in our search for medical attention. So, after a good deal of prayer, counsel, and tearful conversations, we decided it would be wisest for me to spend some time in southern california, where excellent medical care is readily available.

Our hope and prayer is that the doctors I see in socal will be able to help figure out what is making me so sick, and once we have a diagnosis/some answers, I can head back up to northern california, where we can collaborate with them through correspondence as well as work with local doctors to manage and treat my illness.

It was an incredibly difficult decision to make, as we were greatly saddened and discouraged by the thought of being apart, but we believe this is the right thing to do, considering how sick I am.

Thank you so very much for praying for us. It is such an incredible blessing and encouragement. Your prayers and support mean such a great deal to us. We also want to thank you for the encouraging comments, emails, phone calls, letters, care packages, etc. There have been dark, difficult days that have been significantly brightened by a sweet card showing up in the mail or a simple email reminding us that someone is praying for us. Thank you so very much. We cannot weather this painful time alone, and we thank God for blessing us with such sweet, thoughtful friends and family :)

I have my first appointment this Friday morning (9/26). Please pray!

another monthly update

*sigh* Where does the time go? I'm hoping I can update more often than monthly, but I cannot make any promises at this point!

This past month has been incredibly difficult for us. I have been SO very ill. My health has declined a great deal since late July and I literally spend day after day in bed or wilted on the couch. Two days ago it was a victory for me to muster up the strength to take a shower. That was all I was strong enough to accomplish that entire day.

The same chronic fatigue is persisting, but at a much more overwhelming level now. I also began experiencing severe, unrelenting joint pain over a month ago--pain intense enough to keep me from sleeping much and to cause even simple tasks like writing, typing, washing my hair, etc to be very difficult and painful. The pain is most severe in my wrists and fingers, though it also consistently afflicts my elbows, knees, hips, shoulders, ankles, and toes. And to add one more crazy symptom, I am experiencing a great deal of pain in my right side under my ribs, presumably my liver. I'll spare you any further symptoms, but do know I have quite a "list" of them and I spend each day is a great deal of pain and discomfort.

I'm already feeling squirmy about typing out such a depressing list of complaints and have deleted several symptoms out of fear that this is all sounding very "woe is me" and pitiful, but I need you all to know that I am struggling greatly.

My dear, sweet, compassionate husband is taking excellent care of me. He is a full time student, working long hours to support us, staying up late into the night studying, and then also doing all of the cooking and cleaning. He has quite a burden to bear all on his own, but he is bearing it with joy and humility, trusting that God will see us through this. I have a great deal to learn from this wonderful, godly man whom I am SO blessed to call my husband. My eyes are welling up with tears just thinking about it. Also, my own precious, sweet mother graciously spent over 2 weeks with us, cooking, cleaning, encouraging, and helping in any way she could. She was such an immense blessing to both of us. Spencer and I were both commenting last night that it seems like "forever" since she left, when really she only left last Friday. Mom, THANK YOU for visiting us and giving so selflessly!

I am growing incredibly weary typing this out and have had to take numerous breaks already, but I do want to ask for prayer for some particular things:

• Please pray that I can get an appointment with our local rheumatologist ASAP. There have been some delays thus far due to people in the office misplacing my referral, and last I hear, the soonest I could get in would be mid October. We really are hoping we can get in sooner, as waiting another month feeling the way I do is a difficult thought to bear. We are praying that the office staff will be understanding and schedule me for an earlier date.
• We definitely want to mention that God HAS answered our prayers about getting a referral to the rheumatologist in the first place, which is a huge blessing. The whole medical care system in our area is incredibly impacted, due to a large number of physicians either retiring or moving out of the area recently, making it very difficult to get in ANYwhere as a new patient. Most doctors will not see new patients until 2009. No specialists here will see patients without a referral, but it was very difficult to just find a general practitioner accepting new patients in order to even be able to ask for a referral. God graciously allowed me to get in to a walk-in clinic and even though the MD was initially unsupportive and skeptical of my symptoms, the results of the blood work he ordered convinced him that yes, I should see a rheumatologist. Praise God!
• Please pray for wisdom for us as we navigate through the medical care system, seeking the right doctors and treatments. Also pray that we will ultimately remember and trust that ALL of this is in God's hands.
• Also, please pray for our spiritual growth and endurance through all of this. It has been such a difficult, draining, dark time for us, but we don't want to lose sight of all that God is doing in our hearts through this trial. His grace IS sufficient, but so often it is easy to lose sight of that and become discouraged. 

If you have read this long post, thank you so much for taking the time to do so! As I'm able, I'll try to post more often...