medical update

I just posted an update on my health blog for anyone interested :)

one year

A year ago today, I received my registered nursing license in the mail. I was so happy about it and although sick, I was hopeful that within a few months, I'd be strong enough to begin working as a RN.

I'm feeling pretty bummed that a year later, I am far sicker and have yet to do anything with that hard earned RN license. I love nursing and miss it SO much. I am trying to be thankful for all the wonderful experiences I had caring for patients during nursing school and all that I learned. But I am also heartbroken.

Spencer has been so good about comforting and encouraging me, reminding me that right now, God has something better in mind than me being a super nurse. Perhaps in the future I'll be well enough to work as a RN, but for now, my task is to wait patiently and with a trusting, joyful attitude. Some days this waiting is so tough though!

I'm trying to dwell on some of my favorite passages of scripture to keep my heart in the right place. I'd love to know what passages of scripture have been particularly encouraging to you. Please share!

valentine's day

It was a simple and quiet day. Spent with my beloved.

I honestly cannot understand why God so graciously blessed me with such an excellent husband. Spencer never ceases to amaze me - his love for Christ is so evident in his actions and character - wisdom, compassion, steadfastness, patience, humility, eagerness to serve. He leads me in such a Christlike manner - placing my needs above his own, gently exhorting and challenging me when I need it, always seeking to protect and nurture me. He never complains about all he has to do for me while I'm so sick - and believe me, he has a LOT to do - he joyfully and faithfully goes about caring for me in the gentlest, most attentive way.

He was so thoughtful and surprised me with homemade wheat-free scones for breakfast. Sadly, I was so nauseous and could hardly get anything down. It was still such a sweet gesture and we had a lovely morning cuddling and finishing a movie.

I spent most of the day wilted on the couch. My body has been so unhappy.

Meanwhile, Spencer cheerfully did housework. I am so eager to have the strength and energy to help out with chores again, so that this poor man can actually get some rest on the weekend.

In the late afternoon, Spencer decided to take me out for a drive for a change of scenery. I've been too sick to get out of the house lately, so it was wonderful to enjoy the sky, trees, and sea.

I was exhausted from even a short drive, so when we got home, I crashed in bed while Spencer made dinner. Tri tip, parmesan risotto, and green beans. That man can cook! It all turned out SO good.

All day I was hoping and praying I'd have a bit of an appetite so I could actually enjoy the meal. And I did! It was wonderful to actually enjoy eating, rather than mechanically shoveling food in my mouth and forcing myself to swallow.

All in all, a very sweet day, despite feeling awful. We've both come to terms with how a chronic illness has no regard for holidays or special occasions. You feel just as rotten as any other day. And rather than be sad about how we can't celebrate how we'd like to, we're trying to make the most of it.

another week

Random highlights:

- we made it home from southern california safely - it was a long drive, but beautiful. counted over 18 hawks along the way.

- we attended a local lyme support group meeting on friday evening. you can read more about that here.

- celebrated our 20 month anniversary on sunday - I was too sick for us to do anything other than grin at each other and say "happy 20 months!" I love and adore this man and am so thankful to have been allowed to spend these past 20 months as his wife.

- today we found out that I also have bartonella. a lyme co-infection. more details to come, as we learn about bartonella. I'm feeling pretty bummed about it.

I decided to start a blog specifically about my health journey. I'll continue to blog about my health here, as it is a big deal in our day to day lives, but not talk about it quite so in depth. For those of you who want more details, visit my other blog.

Well, that about sums things up. Spencer is working hard at his job and at home taking care of me. I have been incredibly sick and miserable all week. It's been a draining week - one where we have been made keenly aware of just how desperately we need God's grace to get us through each day. He is SO good.

lyme and travel don't mix

It has been WONDERFUL to see loved ones during our time in Southern California. I desperately wish we had the time and energy to visit more beloved people and spend more quality time with our families, but my body hasn't allowed it.

The handful of visits that we had the privilege of enjoying were immensely taxing for me and today I am paying dearly. Am I ever thankful for such a protective, nurturing husband to advocate and care for me. And for understanding, accommodating family and friends.

I have been utterly miserable for the majority of our trip, much of the time in a complete stupor from pain medication. The pain and exhaustion have been very worth it, as it is such a blessing and joy to see family and friends, but it's times like these that I desperately long for relief and healing.

Thank you so much for your prayers regarding this trip. We have certainly needed them. Please pray for us as we make the twelve hour drive home tomorrow. I'm dreading spending those twelve hours confined to the car with the level of pain I'm experiencing.
Thanks to my brother, we'll have lots of new music to enjoy, which will hopefully make the ride home a bit more bearable :)