Southern California

I'm not quite sure where to start, as I'm very fatigued and in pain, lacking the stamina to write out as thorough a post as I'd like.

I headed down to southern california yesterday. I'll be staying with my parents and have appointments set up to see several doctors, including a rheumatologist.

Over the past few weeks, it became increasingly evident to both me and Spencer that we weren't going to get the care I need in our rural medical community. My symptoms have also gotten increasingly severe and distressing over the past couple of weeks, forcefully prompting us to be more aggressive in our search for medical attention. So, after a good deal of prayer, counsel, and tearful conversations, we decided it would be wisest for me to spend some time in southern california, where excellent medical care is readily available.

Our hope and prayer is that the doctors I see in socal will be able to help figure out what is making me so sick, and once we have a diagnosis/some answers, I can head back up to northern california, where we can collaborate with them through correspondence as well as work with local doctors to manage and treat my illness.

It was an incredibly difficult decision to make, as we were greatly saddened and discouraged by the thought of being apart, but we believe this is the right thing to do, considering how sick I am.

Thank you so very much for praying for us. It is such an incredible blessing and encouragement. Your prayers and support mean such a great deal to us. We also want to thank you for the encouraging comments, emails, phone calls, letters, care packages, etc. There have been dark, difficult days that have been significantly brightened by a sweet card showing up in the mail or a simple email reminding us that someone is praying for us. Thank you so very much. We cannot weather this painful time alone, and we thank God for blessing us with such sweet, thoughtful friends and family :)

I have my first appointment this Friday morning (9/26). Please pray!

another monthly update

*sigh* Where does the time go? I'm hoping I can update more often than monthly, but I cannot make any promises at this point!

This past month has been incredibly difficult for us. I have been SO very ill. My health has declined a great deal since late July and I literally spend day after day in bed or wilted on the couch. Two days ago it was a victory for me to muster up the strength to take a shower. That was all I was strong enough to accomplish that entire day.

The same chronic fatigue is persisting, but at a much more overwhelming level now. I also began experiencing severe, unrelenting joint pain over a month ago--pain intense enough to keep me from sleeping much and to cause even simple tasks like writing, typing, washing my hair, etc to be very difficult and painful. The pain is most severe in my wrists and fingers, though it also consistently afflicts my elbows, knees, hips, shoulders, ankles, and toes. And to add one more crazy symptom, I am experiencing a great deal of pain in my right side under my ribs, presumably my liver. I'll spare you any further symptoms, but do know I have quite a "list" of them and I spend each day is a great deal of pain and discomfort.

I'm already feeling squirmy about typing out such a depressing list of complaints and have deleted several symptoms out of fear that this is all sounding very "woe is me" and pitiful, but I need you all to know that I am struggling greatly.

My dear, sweet, compassionate husband is taking excellent care of me. He is a full time student, working long hours to support us, staying up late into the night studying, and then also doing all of the cooking and cleaning. He has quite a burden to bear all on his own, but he is bearing it with joy and humility, trusting that God will see us through this. I have a great deal to learn from this wonderful, godly man whom I am SO blessed to call my husband. My eyes are welling up with tears just thinking about it. Also, my own precious, sweet mother graciously spent over 2 weeks with us, cooking, cleaning, encouraging, and helping in any way she could. She was such an immense blessing to both of us. Spencer and I were both commenting last night that it seems like "forever" since she left, when really she only left last Friday. Mom, THANK YOU for visiting us and giving so selflessly!

I am growing incredibly weary typing this out and have had to take numerous breaks already, but I do want to ask for prayer for some particular things:

• Please pray that I can get an appointment with our local rheumatologist ASAP. There have been some delays thus far due to people in the office misplacing my referral, and last I hear, the soonest I could get in would be mid October. We really are hoping we can get in sooner, as waiting another month feeling the way I do is a difficult thought to bear. We are praying that the office staff will be understanding and schedule me for an earlier date.
• We definitely want to mention that God HAS answered our prayers about getting a referral to the rheumatologist in the first place, which is a huge blessing. The whole medical care system in our area is incredibly impacted, due to a large number of physicians either retiring or moving out of the area recently, making it very difficult to get in ANYwhere as a new patient. Most doctors will not see new patients until 2009. No specialists here will see patients without a referral, but it was very difficult to just find a general practitioner accepting new patients in order to even be able to ask for a referral. God graciously allowed me to get in to a walk-in clinic and even though the MD was initially unsupportive and skeptical of my symptoms, the results of the blood work he ordered convinced him that yes, I should see a rheumatologist. Praise God!
• Please pray for wisdom for us as we navigate through the medical care system, seeking the right doctors and treatments. Also pray that we will ultimately remember and trust that ALL of this is in God's hands.
• Also, please pray for our spiritual growth and endurance through all of this. It has been such a difficult, draining, dark time for us, but we don't want to lose sight of all that God is doing in our hearts through this trial. His grace IS sufficient, but so often it is easy to lose sight of that and become discouraged. 

If you have read this long post, thank you so much for taking the time to do so! As I'm able, I'll try to post more often...

Yet another attempt...

Another month has passed. I'm not doing so well with blogging as of late!

Summer is beginning to wind down, as Spencer will start his Fall classes in a couple of weeks. We're trying to soak up every last bit of sunlight and are enjoying our "warm" weather, as some days the temperature *actually* gets up to near 70. There's something so wistful and almost sad about these days in August, knowing that the warm weather and light evenings are slowly dwindling away. But then again, there's also anticipation of a new semester for Spencer and a season I have not yet experienced in the Pacific Northwest.

We recently returned home from a trip to Aruba with Spencer's family. It was a really fun vacation and we were thankful and glad to be able to spend time with Spencer's Uncle Ryan and Aunt Debbie, his parents, sister-in-law Heather and sweet niece Georgie, and Debbie's sister Sharon and daughters Emily and Lizzie.

More pictures to come...

I have been incredibly fatigued and worn down this summer, so we really haven't been able to do much "blog worthy" stuff and I feel monotonous to blog each and every time about how bad I feel. Despite me feeling poorly, Spencer and I are doing well and each month we are all the more glad and thankful to be married to one another. In a couple of days we celebrate our 14 month anniversary! Yes, we're sentimental like that and still celebrate each month :)

catch up

Another month behind us. Each day seems to fly by!

Multiple times I've attempted to post something, anything, but have been unsuccessful thus far. Here's a bit of an update on what's going on with us...

• We had the privilege and pleasure of spending a week in Southern California in late June! It was such an encouragement to see family and close friends. We got to take part in celebrating our sweet niece's 1st birthday and Spencer was in a wedding of some friends from high school. We kept the rest of the week pretty low key, as I wasn't feeling very well. While Spencer ran around helping friends prepare for the wedding, I hung out at my parent's house and slept a lot. Our apologies to those of you who we couldn't visit or spend time with--we truly wanted to see as many of our dear friends as possible, but were limited due to my health. Despite remembering to bring our camera, I didn't take ANY pictures! When I'm not feeling well and am in a social situation, I often don't remember/ feel up to taking pictures. I'm sad about that now, wishing I had photos of our time with our loved ones. Oh well. It was still a great time :)

• Spencer's working full time for our landlord this summer. Repairing, mowing, chainsawing, building, digging, plumbing and electrical, flooring, etc. We're both so thankful for this job--flexible hours, a fair and generous employer, good pay, and the actual work is fun and interesting to Spencer--God has provided for us so graciously! Although on break for the summer, he's still doing school related stuff, as he has quite a bit of data to process and analyze from his research cruise in May. He and his classmates are working on writing an abstract for the paper they plan on presenting at an oceanography conference in the Fall. As I type, he's sitting next to me happily playing around with and programing data... My husband is such a cute scientist!

• I admit that this summer has been quite difficult and painfully lonely for me. I find myself looking back on last summer, when my health began to go downhill, and become discouraged that I've made very little progress since then. Feeling horrible the majority of the time and not knowing why can be so frustrating! I do, however, have "okay" days here and there, and the frequency of those "okay" days seems to be slowly increasing, which is encouraging. I've been trying so hard to have an optimistic attitude and often tell myself and others that I'm slowly getting better, because I really think I am. But then soon after I report that I'm doing better, I promptly have another bout of feeling miserable and being barely functional and often don't have the energy to re-update people that I'm doing worse again and need help, prayer, etc. So frustrating!

It's been a rough time for us with me being ill, but we take joy and comfort in the fact that God is sovereign and good. He has been so faithful to provide for us and we rejoice in seeing the fruit that is being born out of this trial. Praise the Lord for showing us such mercy and kindness! His grace is truly sufficient.

2 Corinthians 4:16-18
So we do not lose heart. Though our outer self is wasting away, our inner self is being renewed day by day. For this light momentary affliction is preparing for us an eternal weight of glory beyond all comparison, as we look not to the things that are seen but to the things that are unseen. For the things that are seen are transient, but the things that are unseen are eternal.

June!

Where does the time go? It feels like I just posted a couple of days ago...

I've been feeling pretty awful this past week, hence the lack of posts. Today and yesterday have been a bit better, so that's an encouragement. So...what to share? Here are some odds n' ends...

I ♥ Spencer

We celebrated our one year anniversary yesterday! Neither of us can believe it's been a year already. It's gone by so fast! We're humbled and encouraged to look back on all the details God has beautifully orchestrated in this first year of marriage--He has been so kind and gracious to us. I am blessed and honored to be married to such a godly, wise, tender hearted man who loves and cherishes me and sets such a good example for me to follow with the way he lives. I'm crazy about this guy and respect and adore him so! We LOVE being married to one another and are excited to see what God has in store for our second year of marriage.

We spent the first half of yesterday being utterly lazy. I was feeling rotten and needed to rest up for the second half of the day. In the late afternoon, we headed for the beach. It was a beautiful day, and we enjoyed a good visit as we wandered along the shore, watched dogs frolic in the surf, and a woman unsuccessfully attempt to fly a kite.

no, Spencer is not trying out a new hair style... it was just incredibly windy, bright, and cold...pretty normal for a June day in these parts.

haha, we kept trying to get a "good" picture, but alas, between the wind messing up our hair and the sun making us squint, it just wasn't our day

We then headed for a nearby restaurant with a fantastic view of the ocean. I was pleased to find food that was compatible with my dietary needs--our waitress was excellent and made sure everything I ate was safe for me. Spencer enjoyed shrimp scampi, halibut, squash, and broccoli over basmati rice. I scarfed down (literally) filet mignon, asparagus, and potatoes. We rarely ever eat out, so this was a big treat :) We then headed home for dessert--Spencer made me a dairy, egg, soy, and gluten free chocolate cake! It was so good! Very rich and intense. Coconut oil, hemp milk, and ground flax seeds helped keep it moist and fluffy despite the lack of eggs, butter, and wheat. Haha, I'm salivating just thinking about it...

he even garnished the cake with leaves from our mint plant Cornelius.

All in all, we had a wonderful day yesterday. This first year of marriage has been so sweet and it was such a joy to celebrate.

speaking of food...

It's official. I've done away with gluten AND dairy. For good. After much trial and error detective work, I have come to the conclusion that neither gluten or dairy are any good for my body. I kept hoping that it could be one or the other and NOT both, but each item has proven itself excellent at wreaking havoc on my body. Both must go. I've already been avoiding both really well, but not quite 100%. I was bummed about my "loss" for a few days, but am now feeling optimistic and ready to try new things. It definitely helps to have such a sensitive and compassionate husband who loves to cook and create things that are as yummy as possible yet safe for me to eat--he's been such an encouragement to me.

The other night, my handsome and caring husband made me macaroni and cheese. Gluten, soy, dairy, and egg free. It was delicious! We both really enjoyed it and definitely plan on making it again. Spencer, ever the romantic, decided that our macaroni and cheese ought to be enjoyed by candlelight. So fun!

we were trying so hard not to crack up in this picture, as we both felt really silly to be taking a timed picture of ourselves at the dinner table...we're such nerds...
definitely not "cheesy," but it satisfied that want for something hearty, savory, and creamy.

Spencer also secretly picked out some dairy, egg, and gluten free cinnamon raisin bread mix at our health food store and surprised me with muffins. They were wonderful!

I made chicken taquitos a few days ago. It was easier than I thought it would be. I think next time I'll try to make a huge batch and freeze most of them. It seems like they'd reheat well and make a quick, tasty snack/meal for times we don't feel like cooking...

I'm determined to make the most of this and eat well, despite my limitations. So far, we're both having fun getting creative!

Well, that's all for now. Time to rest up before tackling the dishes...