changes

It's been quite a week. And we've come to a pretty big conclusion.

Spencer will not be taking classes this spring semester. He will continue to work on his senior project, but that is all. We prayed, agonized, weighed our options, talked it over and over, prayed more, and sought counsel from wise people whom we respect. We made our decision, we have peace about it, and we firmly believe that it is the best thing for my health, our marriage, and our sanity.

It was an incredibly difficult choice, as we both firmly believe that Spencer should finish school, and we really want him to finish as quickly as possible. But after these nightmarish past five months of immense suffering, let alone the fact that our entire marriage thus far has been plagued by a seemingly endless "relapse," we knew something needed to change. We can't change the fact that I'm so ill, that Spencer needs to work to support us, nor the increasing medical expenses, many of which are not covered by health insurance. But we can control whether Spencer is in school.

We're both feeling relief, rather than dread, as we look at the months to come. Day to day life is still very difficult for us, as we try to cope with such a consuming illness, but at least we've removed something that demands a great deal of Spencer's time and energy. We both feel that this change will be a healthy, positive one, allowing us to better focus on getting me well. We pray that this would be a time of healing, recovery, and growth for both of us. We are planning on Spencer resuming classes this fall, hoping and anticipating that by then I will be stronger.

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As for my health status since going off of antibiotics... Not much of a change, but we have both noticed a few subtle improvements: An increase in mental clarity/energy. Feeling less like a dense fog is engulfing my thoughts. Feeling less like I'm dying. I noticed the most improvement early on this week, but have begun to slump back down a bit yesterday and today. I am slowly upping the dosage on the Cat's Claw, and those pesky bacteria are not liking it. There is a battle raging in my body. No wonder I feel so miserable.

So far, no notable change from all the new vitamins and supplements I added to my regimen. But I am confident that over time, they will help strengthen my body, especially my immune system, so that I can better fight of the Lyme. I am taking a ridiculous amount of capsules and tablets. It's quite an ordeal trying to get them all down - I'm a pro pill swallower, after many years of downing up to 30 pills per meal, but it is difficult with my shrunken tummy - I get full of water from taking the pills and then have no room to eat much of anything.

I think of my dear sister-in-law, Heather, as I type this, as she herself is struggling greatly with her health and has quite a shopping list of supplements to take, even more than me. Please, when you pray for me, please remember her too. It really is very strange that she and I would both be having such a rough time with debilitating, miserable symptoms that are so similar - we are both quite curious, wondering what God has in mind. Please pray she would get answers for the cause of her illness and that she would be healed!

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One last change. This one not so important, but I figured I'd mention it :)

I cut my hair. Very short. I've been gradually shortening it for quite some time, out of an attempt to keep it as low maintenance as possible. A week or so ago, Spencer helped me with trimming the back, and I gave him permission to go to town. Haha, he sure did. And I like it. It hasn't been this short since I was about 6:

Don't worry. I don't look nearly this silly now... I think.

I'll try to post a picture of the new 'do soon.